Dating Sites or Clubs

Dating Sites or Clubs

So you have been single for a while and you would like to get back in the saddle again. There are numerous ways that you can go about finding that significant other these days, but which one should you put your trust into the most? Everyone knows of the online dating services that are constantly showing commercials on television, and there are more clubs out there these days that have singles nights than you can shake a stick at. That’s why you have to decide whether you want to spend your time searching online, or spend your time going from one club to the next in order to find that right person.
   


     If you choose to go online, there are some things that you should keep in mind. There are a lot of companies out there that say they are dating sites but they really aren’t. In fact, there are quite a few that are adult entertainment based services that will attempt to get you in the door by offering a dating service. Once you are there, they will turn into a phone sex or texting service that is only looking to make money off of you. There are some sites that aren’t like this, though, and are actually pretty good to go through.
Something you should keep in mind is that when you talk to someone online, they may not be who or what they say they are. There have been plenty of people that found love online, got married, and had a glorious relationship. Then, there are the people that have started chatting online and ended up finding out that the 27 year old professional body builder was a 52 year old out of work janitor, or the 24 year old bikini model turned out to be a 47 year old stay at home mom of 7.


           

Dating Sites Can Be a Great Way to Meet Like Minded People

   
   
     Going out to the clubs will at least allow you to physically see the person that you are interested in, although talking to them might end up changing your mind. You will also need to understand that club hopping in order to find a relationship can be difficult since there are rarely people that aren’t out with their friends there. You are going to have to be able to make it past the line of close friends in order to get to talk to the person and find out if they are worth pursuing.
Whichever way you decide to go, there are good aspects and there are bad aspects to both. You are going to have to either research every website that you come across, or you are going to have to lower your expectations when you walk into a club. There are plenty of people out there that are right for you. The only problem is finding the right way of actually meeting these people and how to go about starting a conversation with them. Play your cards right and you could end up happy for the rest of your life. Fumble in the beginning and you are doomed for failure.

How Do We Move From Friends To Dating?

xlanlfc asks, "I have a friend who I have gone out and done things with (as friends) for about five years. I have a huge crush on her and think we are very compatible. I'm ready to take this relationship to the next level. Why haven't I hit on her before? She is a little overweight. Don't bother me none, but my friends, well, they might think differently. So I haven't hit on her. But I'm over that now. If they don't like it, tough, because I really really like her. I'm ready. So what's the problem? I haven't hit on her in the five years we have been hanging out. I just don't know how to proceed."

What do you think? Any suggestions for this 44-year-old single parent?

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Can I Make Him Want More Than Friends With Benefits?

Melanie asks: I am 20, single and am seeing this 24-year-old guy named Adam. When we met a month ago we went on a date to go see a movie, and it was obvious that we liked each other. Our second date we went to his house, watched a movie and then became friends with benefits. About 20 days ago and handful of dates later, and I told him that I wanted a relationship with him because I liked him so much, and that friends with benefits wasn't working for me anymore. His response? "I'm not looking for a relationship."

Two days ago I asked him out, but he replied quite angrily, "I already told you I don't want a relationship!" Yet just before I asked him out he said he thought about me the day before, and that he wanted to cuddle with me even though he normally hates it.

I really want a relationship with Adam and not just a friends with benefits relationship! Is there any way I can convince him?

Bonny's response: It's highly unlikely that you'll ever get more from this guy other that what you've already had. If you want more than friends with benefits, it's time to end the interaction and find someone who wants the same thing you do, as he's been very clear with you that he's not interested in anything else. Try next time you meet someone you're attracted to and interested in to be upfront from the start about what you're looking for. In the meantime? Forget about this guy. Don't call, email, text or otherwise get in contact with him. Don't reply to his obviously disrespectful requests - you don't want just sex while he's pushing for it - and invest your energy into meeting someone who is on the same page and respectful of your needs.

But you tell me readers: can Melanie turn this friends with benefits relationship into something more? If so, how? If no, why not? Or, share your friends with benefits story.

_{Another reader Friends with Benefits question}

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