Dating as a Single Mom

Dating as a Single Mom

   As more and more single mothers start re-entering the dating arena, there are some tricky situations to maneuver through. These can be mothers that are either divorced or those that are single because they chose to be. For these women, dating can involve some pretty large hoops to jump through unless you’ve got live in help or a relative that just loves to babysit your kids for you. Actually, babysitting is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to coordinating all of the things that need to be taken care of before you can enjoy a night out on the town with a date.

Dating as a Single Mom can be a difficult but not always

However, in spite of all the preparation for a date, single women continue to have a very successful social life that also includes dating. The first thing to remember is that any man who may be around your children at any point in time is someone that you need to be very sure about. You need to be certain that he’s safe and that he doesn’t have any sort of criminal history. It’s also a good idea to find out how he feels about kids before you start dating him. All of these things are very important and should be thoroughly checked into before ever going out on that first date. The last thing you want is to bring someone into your life and that of your children who has a less than stellar background.

A problem that many single moms face when dating is dealing with a child that doesn’t want to share their mom with someone new. Now, obviously, you don’t want to upset your child that may already be dealing with the fallout from a divorce or death of a father. However, you do need to set some clear boundaries. It’s important for your child to understand that you’re more than just a mom and that you deserve to have some privacy of your own to get out and have some adult fun. You need to explain that you’ll always be there for them, but that there’s also a part of your life that belongs only to you. If all else fails and these problems escalate, you probably want to consider having your child speak with a counselor.

Last, but not least, if it begins to look as if a certain relationship may be heading down a path to something more permanent, start incorporating your child into your dating life. Once you feel that someone may become a serious part of your life, he needs to spend some time with your child so that they can become better acquainted. This needs to be done well ahead of time before making any such serious decisions as moving in together or getting married. If your child and your man get along well, the transition will be so much easier because they will have had time to get to know one another and won’t be strangers.
As you can see, it’s much simpler to adjust to dating life as a single mom than you may have ever thought it would be.

Research Shows What Tactics To Use To Meet Someone Special

A few years ago the magazine Scientific American Mind discussed how we meet someone we marry, live with, or partner with (either short term or long term). Interestingly, some dating statistics presented in the article provided variations between the different relationship statuses and how we meet, and showed that it wasn't that different depending on how committed we were: the majority in all four scenarios meet through friends most of the time, with self-introduction and family members falling suit. Of course there were some predictable variations - such as short-term partnerships (i.e. casual relationships) meeting through self-introduction the most and family members the least - but I found the study results interesting.

In the article, writers Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler tackle the seemingly debate-ridden stance that meeting the love of our lives has less to do with randomness and chance, and more to do with social networks than anything else. Out goes the romantic notion that a 'happy accident' or fate pulling people together such as in many a romantic comedy. No, the stats are quite clear: if you want to find someone to partner up with, no matter what kind of relationship you are looking for, use your social networks.

But how about you? How did you meet your current, or last partner? Take the poll and let me know.

_{Christakis, N.A., & Fowler, J. H. (2009, November/December). Love the one you're with. Scientific American Mind, 20(6), 48-55.}

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